So I am just finishing the Dugger's book and loved it!!!! BUT I did notice that there are alot of times that the children are told ahead of time that good behavior will lead to a treat afterwards.....
Tons of questions pop up and thought I would ask for some input....
1. I desire for my children to obey out of respect
2. I desire for my children to obey because they trust me that I am teaching them to have Godly character traits some day
3. I feel a like funny like it would be a bribe for good behavior and then they would be looking for a treat every time I ask for obedience. I do praise them tons for a willing heart that is obeying....
4. Maybe it is ok because God promises us rewards for our obedience....BUT I don't think we only obey knowing that a reward from God is coming...and I don't want them to obey soley for the treat which I am pretty sure Jacob would do.
5. Also as it stands now Jacob will obey out of love and respect for us.... Eli different story.....
Please share your insights......
Always thinking....
Hey, Bree.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I've read your blog. I love it! I hope to read more often.
On this subject, I'm reminded of dogs.. Haha! I know.. Just hang with me. To train them, many trainers give them treats, others give praise, whatever works for the dog. However, eventually the dog obeys without the treat or praise and they do it because they know they're supposed to.
I think the same can be said for children that are so young. At this age, treats are very important and respect is an intangible concept, but eventually they'll get it.
We use treats for some things, but we also give the alternative consequent (a spank) if Snoe decides to disobey. We'll say, "Do this, or you will get a spank." We rarely have to pop her as the fear of it is usually enough to align her with our will. :)
Anyway, as our God is both just and kind, I think using both discipline and treats is the way to go. We've just got to discern in which area each should be applied.
This is Lizzy McMahon, by the way! Haha
ReplyDeleteHey girl! You are always thinking and always wanting to know the best ways to do things! I love that! I think I'm a middle of the road person when it comes to this one. I like to give treats for two reasons, one it does help with their behavior, two, and the most important, I like to give good gifts! I like to see their faces light up after they recieve their reward. I'm learning that some kids are more motivated when it comes to rewards (Taylin) and others are more motivated when it comes to discipline(Rayna). But I don't give rewards for everything, or for certain things all the time. Simply, because then it doesn't make it special anymore. So, I guess I feel like there is a balance and it depends on your kids personality! I have to say, I do like the dog analogy. (I'm sorry I keep missing you here in Flagstaff! I keep hearing about you through the grape vine!)
ReplyDeleteI love the Dugger's too! I am so glad I found your blog, I love hearing some uplifting things and seeing your cute kids! Love the pink I knew someone who liked pink back in the day. Hope all is well!
ReplyDeleteIf by treats you mean candy and toys for listening to mommy, I say no. Unless it is an every-once-in-a-while "If you eat your dinner, you can have a peice of candy afterward." kind of treat.
ReplyDeleteNow if your talking about a sticker chart where when they earn enough stickers to pick from a treasure box (this teaches delayed gratification), I say yes. I also think that the treasure box should not be candy and toys. I think it should be things like "A day with Grammy and Grampy", "A trip to the park", or "Ice cream out with the family"(I know this one is sweets;)).Just as God told the Israelites they would experience blessing for thier obedience we can show our children that they will recieve blessings from us for their obedience. That their obedience pleases us.
I chose not to put "A date with Mommy (or Daddy)" in our treasure box. We have our dates with them no matter what. They don't have to earn special time with us. It is their right as our children.
I would also reward for things that some may not. Like when I see true repentance after an offence.
We don't do the treasure box right now, but we might again soon.
All of this is great information. Keep it coming I know there are others that will want to chime in..
ReplyDeleteHopefully short and sweet - Kids are born sinners, and all about "me". So, we need to help them see the benefit of obeying until they are old enough to relize why it is important to make good choices, desire to follow God, etc. and want to obey just because it's right. I think the trick is to make sure every undesireable action/choice is met with an undesireable consequence. Of course this requires major consistency which is my downfall. Maybe treats are good in certain situations, like when you are out in public and unable to discipline the way you do at home? I like the delayed gratification...another learned attribute.
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